Woah, it's been long since I've updated my blog.

Will not update on things that happened long ago, just some recent updates. But still, Sec 1 Orientation Camp was a success, due to the detailed planning of the Main Commmittee, give yourselves a round of applause. :D

Life isn't good recently. Just realised that A.Maths for Sec 4 is like so hard. The thought of dropping A.Maths flashed passed again, but this time, it decided to lay it's foundation in my mind. If I don't pass this Common Test, it's time I say bye to A.Maths. But on second thought, A.Maths provides many benefits if I'm going to JC. And back to the same topic, JC or Poly?

This question has been weighing on my mind since the start of this year. Everyone seems to have a clear direction of where they are going. Some are going to JC via DSA, or some are going to JC to simply satisfy their parents' expectations, or some are going to JC because they really love JC and have a clear goal in their head. Some are going to Poly because they enjoy the relax and tight schedule at different times of the year, while some are going to Poly because they simply condemned JC sub-consciously, or rather, some are going to Poly because they know that the course they are aiming for is going to help them pave their future road. As for me, I'm still stuck in the middle of JC or Poly.

Each education institution has their own benefits. For example, Poly has a free attire and they study specific courses which allows them to concentrate on that particular course for their 3 years in Poly. The Diploma after the end of the 3 years serves as a better qualifications for a job interview compared to the A-level certificate obtained at the end of 2 years hardkwork in JC. Poly has a variety of courses for students to choose from. The students do projects, have assessment as and when the teacher likes and pass through their last year with a work attachment to put their theory skills into use.

Junior College is a "2 year workshop" whereby it brings you to university easily compared to those in Poly, but that is provided you work hard. Students wear uniform, attend lectures for hours and hours, go home in the late afternoon only to continue with their homework and their cycle repeats for the next day. It sounds much pathetic compared to Poly, according to what I've said. But, I just don't know why, it's so hard to make a decision between the two of them. Ultimately, after the 2 or 3 years of education in either institution, the question is, "Do you want to go to University?" I believe this question is an important factor to consider when choosing your higher level of education institution.

This brings me back to another point. My parents, or rather my whole big family tree, have always wanted a male heir to enter university. After looking at the kind of bullshits my brother get for going into JC, it deters me from choosing JC, but ultimately, I do not know what courses to go to if I were to go for Poly, and what would I want to do when I grow up? Important decisions are often hard to make, and the most irritating decisions to make that you just want to throw all the decisions to your parents and make them decide for you like you are still some 6 months old baby.

Putting studies aside, CCA next. After working hard for 4 long years, we are going to step down soon in April. Frankly speaking, I dislike this CCA, but I like the people in the CCA and I will miss times in CCA whereby we get scolded, had fun during games, worried about our promotion, worried about what kind of bullshits we get from the higher authourity and of course, what time we get to sleep during camps. HAHA! What is weighing on my mind is the upcoming Zone Competition which is going to be held on April Fools' Day, 1 April. The cadet teams are making my worried with their current standard. Not to mention that their standard are way below the corp's standard, they are facing strong opponents who have years of experience in competition and also who are more senior than them. Not only them, I'm also worried for my own team. It's the first time we are competing in the adult category and I really do not have confidence of winning in the competition, though I am always boasting about how strong my team is and the achievements we get in nationals. But I'm really scared that we do not get the champion title. It not only is an embarrassemnt, it also breaks the record of the corp, whereby there is a first time where an Ambulance Adult team did not get champion in the Zone. Stress ah stress! Time to get more strict and fierce with the cadets, to achieve the expected results by the higher authourities.

Lastly, my behaviour. I think I'm an asshole in a lot of people's eyes, including guys. I often shout at people whom ... idk how to say it. Or rather, I should say, I just like shouting at people, which I won't like it when others shout at me. I need to change. I need to stop shouting at people. I need to stop acting likka boss. I need to stop being such an ass and be considerate towards others. I NEED TO THINK BEFORE I SPEAK. I need to watch my actions and I NEED TO CHANGE. I really need a change. Next time, before I speak, I must check my volume, tone and authourity, before I open my mouth to insult others and comment on others. Wen Jun. Reflect, reflect and reflect!

Ok, one thing more after the last. The awkwardness and the avoiding of eye contact makes me so ... feel like dying. It hurts a lot, but I don't know whether she cares. Or maybe I should just give up. Even if my mind tells me to give up, my heart is still clinging on to that rope she dropped, but didn't cut it away. I'm waiting for an answer, waiting for a satisfying answer to all these hurtful truths. Tell me if you don't need me to wait, tell me if you have given up on me, so that the stupid me will not keep clinging to this rope, which is always hanging in the mid-air, leaving me hanging in the midst of everything. I want to pull myself out, but it just seems so useless without an answer. I'm still waiting.

Finally updated after so long. Bye and goodnight.