I've always thought I only need a little bit of time to get over you. After 11 September, that night when you send me the messages, or instead, I initiated the conversation, I knew that, things were over.

I really didn't know how things came to this state. You didn't tell me what mixed signals did I gave. I desperately want to know why, why did you go? I don't know what is the problem. I thought, things would just go away as time goes by. But I realised, I still miss you a lot.

I've always wonder, whether did you ever missed me. I tried to convince myself that you still wanted me, but, it didn't work. I couldn't understand why you could survive not talking to me for 2 months, but could not survive just because of a sentence that I've said. I don't understand.

I've always wanted to talk to you. I wished you could talk to me too. But, I didn't dared to start talking to you. I don't know what you might say again that leave me crying alone in the middle of the night. Now I do now wish for anything, but just for you to start talking to me.

I hope we still can be friends, though it is hard after whatever has happened. You said you like me, but you didn't show me. I thought a eyecandy in school would be good, someone to look forward to when going to school. Someone whom you feel you should care more about, and treat her right. I don't know what went wrong or what did I do. But I just want to know why you left.

I don't know if you still miss me. I don't know if you still visit my blog like last time. I missed those time when I get emo, and you are always the first one to initiate the conversation, buy chocolates and sweets for me. I missed those time when you used to come and get some food from me because you were just that greedy. I like seeing that satisfied smile on your face after having food in your mouth for you to chew. I don't like what has happened, but I know things will never be the same. All I wish now is just for us to be friends. We didn't started out as a couple, so why couldn't we end up as friends? Couples break and even end up as friends.

I realised, I still can't put you down, and I still miss you. To you it might be some bullshit and you may not believe, but I've said what I needed to.





I still miss you. A lot. Really.