For once, I look back. I looked at those photos we have taken together as a batch, a pair, or even as couples (: I really missed those times, when everyone gives in their everything to complete something as a batch. I missed those times that everyone can work together and quarrel over stupid and childish stuffs. I missed those times that we can sit down and laugh and chat over a meal. I missed the times where CCA used to be more important than friends. I missed the times when nothing could offend one another.

Now? Hah, I don't know. Now, nobody gives in their best anymore. Everyone gives me shit excuses for the late submission of proposals. Everyone gives me excuse like, 'Sorry, I forget about the proposal, I went out to celebrate Mother's Day, will send to you later! Sorry for everything! :D' OR 'Oh, I thought you said that it was the following Sunday. Sorry, I'll go home now to send the proposal to you.' OR 'Oh, I went out with my boyfriend/girlfriend, who gives a damn about your fucking proposal? FUCK OFF DUDE!' I really hope the whole batch sees this. I don't want to scold them, they are my batch. I don't want to be enemies with them, I need friends. I don't want to work alone, I'm no superman. I want help, I want concern, I want friends. I need EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEIR HELP. Sometimes, I feel like a dog. Being a Assistant Corp Commander, I have to lower down to their level to BEG them to help me, when it's THEIR FUCKING RESPONSIBILITY TO HELP ME. But, without their help, I'm nothing, really nothing. I had enough of excuses. I had enough of shits. I had enough of begging. I had enough of fucking attitudes. You don't want to listen? Fine, we will fail as a batch. We will be worse than Wen Jie, if that's what you want. You guys always scold Wen Jie for being bitchy and useless. Look, now who's the useless one? I rather have someone like her who gives out her everything for the corp, then people like Melvin? When there is meeting, you go 'OH SIAN! MEETING AGAIN!' Or like Jason? 'Sian, meeting. Can't flirt anymore.' Or be like Huimin? 'I eating halfway ah.' Or like Yan Xuan? 'Sorry, I don't have the passion for SJAB anymore. It won't make a difference with or without me. I'm going out with Javier <3' Yanxuan, like what you said, don't talk behind your back. Now I'm openly talking about you. I don't think you will blame me, but if you really do, I won't mind. What has become of our batch? Does things have to go to such extent? Like seriously?

Friends. Xin Qian. I just made her angry over the phone. So I shall apologise here. Cause I'm always in the wrong. I should never say anything.

Jing Wen. I always emo, then she always hyper, then like the atmosphere different. I apologise, like once again, I'm in the wrong. I should never say anything.

Xiao Yun. I always complain about how suckish life is. The optimistic you was never meant to cheer the pessimistic me. I'm sorry, I won't say anything anymore.

Kang Hao. I accidentally hit your racket twice. I owe you $20. I'm sorry. I should have kept my hands and leg to myself.

Nah! Nobody is at fault! :D I'm the one at fault, I should reflect on myself ah. I really should. Probably I'm really always the one in fault ah. I'm wrong because I made Yan Xuan lose passion in SJAB. I'm wrong because Jason hates me for being demanding like a bossy dog. I'm wrong because I always spoil Melvin's plan by including meeting like everyday. I'm wrong because I'm stupid and can't excel in studies. I'm wrong because I can't meet my parents' expectation. I'm wrong because I'm stupid because I don't know how to boil water, how to cook an egg, or even because I don't have the courage to face fire. I'm wrong because I'm just a stupid little me. I don't have the ability to do anything. I'm wrong because I am me. I'm wrong because I'm in this world. I'm wrong because I didn't end my life like years ago. I'm wrong because I am who I am.

I'm always wrong.





You, you, you and you! You're right! :D I'm wrong!