Everything below is just going to be emo. Leave if you don't wish to read it.

































































I hate the way you guailan me, be it joking or serious, it hurts, totally. You make me speechless everytime I talk to you. I admit that I'm always angry at you, and sometimes, you just make me feel extremely piss. But, when you say something nice the next day, all the anger seems to be gone. It sucks ah, I don't like anything now. We're totally two worlds apart. It's impossible. I can't even talk to you for longer than 5mins. Sitting down together, with you reading a book, and me doing my own homework, WTH? Sometimes I wonder, am I done trying? I don't know you well like others do, I don't know you well like how your friends do, I don't know what to do when you're feeling upset, I don't know what I can buy to give you for Valentines. I even bought an anklet? That was so embarrasing. I don't know what I can even do for you. Fake, pretence, barrier, everything.

You, cared for me so much for what. It's like, you're not obliged to care, but you're like always there for me. I appreciated everything that you have done. But I'm sorry, I'm done controlling your life, I'm leaving.

Poker face. Very easy to guess, it's you. I like the way how we are a family. But please, don't be so stressed up and don't emo okay. I know family isn't always the nicest place to be, but you need them. Give and take. I may be able to give you advice, but I'm a failure of my own life.

I can't believe I actually cried because of stuffs that occurs concurrently, related to these 3 person. I don't know what's wrong with me, neither do I want to know what is wrong. I like how I'm alone, when no one cares, and all you do is cry the shit out of your heart. That's the best, probably I should stay this way.

心里的那种痛，那种绞痛，令人非常难受，甚至想放弃. I've thought of giving up on everything, friends, studies, CCA, everything. Practically everything. But I often tell myself, why did I hang on for so long? I know no one treats me seriously, I know no one really cares, 大难领头，各自飞. Who would stop and think about me, my thoughts and feelings, everything. You might say you care, but you all know it's just for show. Who takes it for real? No one. No one really did. But I still hang on, for what? I don't know. I have not a clue about why I'm still living. Be it to lend homework to others, be it to let others say that I'm fat, be it to let others joke about me, be it to let others say that I'm handsome just to drink the Green Tea that I'm holding, be it to let others say that I'm taking control of everything even though I'm not in-charge, be it to let others hate me, be it to let others love me but, I'm still living. Why? I don't know.

When will I learn? I've promised myself not to complain, but here I am, blabbering everything out again. But it hurts to bottle everything up, really.

I shall end here. No point continuing.





I need to escape from reality, just for a short while.