Now I know how it feels like. Now I know how stressful and painful it feels, when you're already troubled enough, and someone comes and complain about their life to you, yet there is nothing you can do. That is how I feel like now. I feel so useless not being able to help others.

Crush under stress. Friends under stress. Instructor under stress and mentally breaking down soon. I just don't know how to help.

She has been under lots of stress due to her cca, school commitments and studies. Yet, there is nothing I can do to help her. I don't understand her well enough to be able to console and help her. I feel useless.

Friends under CCA stress. Competitions, SYF, and other form of stressful competitive activities between other schools. Extremely stressed up, but there is nothing I can do to relieve their stress. I feel so useless.

Should I consider this guy as a friend or instructor? Basically, he has been under stress for training his competition team cadets, but his cadets never listen and are not willing to put in more effort. This is not the first time he is complaining to me, but I ALWAYS failed to cheer him up and console him. No exception this time as well, I can see he that he tried to appear cheered up infront of me, but I know, he ain't feeling good, deep down at that corner of the heart. I feel very useless.

But, facing all these, I have my own problems. I just can't stand couples who gives up everything just to be with their mates. It's like, they throw everything for you to do it lah. To be with their mates, they skip training. To be with their mates, they throw away responsibilities assigned to them. To be with their mates, they sacrifice other people. They give excuses to slack and to cast aside their responsibilities. I don't see why I can complete my holiday homeworks, I can attend all trainings, and I can complete my work tasked to me for other stuffs/events, and YOU CAN'T. THERE IS NO REASON WHY YOU CAN'T, THERE REALLY ISN'T ANY. By giving excuses, it simply means you don't want to put in the effort to do certain stuffs. Then what for give excuses? Just say you don't want to do it, AND FUCK OFF!

Just to let you know, I've been doing this and that for you. If you're not going to help me, and continue to be with your mate, I tell you, I'll blow up, and you will clean my ass for me. I've tried not to quarrel with you. I really tried. I can never imagine how things would become if you and I quarrel. It really ain't going to be nice. I'm serious. Be with your mate one more time, I'll blow your ass up.


I really don't know what to do. I can't be of help to others. Everytime I talk to them, they make me feel so useless when I cannot be of help to console or be a listening ear for them. Neither can they understand and be a listening ear for me. It's really tiring.

I've always been wanting to clear things up with you. Now I guess it's the time to do so. If you happen to read this, then you'll know. But if you don't, so be it.

We haven been really communicating. It's like, we're not what we used to be in the past. We don't act sweet, we don't talk much, we don't care for each other. I really don't know what I can do to salvage this situation. I really don't wish to pressure you on this since you have other commitments. But it really hurts, it really do. If you really think I'm pressuring you, then don't do anything. Just take that I'm complaining to my own blog and just ignore me.





I do not have a body made of steel. I'm made up of flesh and I've my own feelings too.